best thing about my tumblrs is rarely anyone reads over them.
meaning i can write my innermost thoughts and feelings and they most likely wouldnt be read.
i feel so fucking broken. i opened my heart to you. more than i have for anyone ever. i cant do this…….
im realising alot of my flaws and insecuritys lately,
and alot of them are so big,i dont understand how, or why i am only noticing them all now….they are so very noticable, i dont understand why people havent pointed out these flaws before.im learning more and more about myself, things id rather of known years before now.i have also noticed i am very mentally unstable right now,although i already knew i was mentally unstable for years…just not this unstable.., i dont know what started this ,when or why i am like i am, i think its time to look back into my past as far as i can remember and figure out what moment, or moments in my life that made me start falling into the life i lead now,what pushed me towards being the wreck i am, and i need to find a way to sort out my problems, so i can become a better me,it is going to be a long process,and i guess whoever decides to walk out of my life,it might actully be the best choice for them,i am bringing down the people around me at the moment,and i really dont want to, they are such amazing people, they deserve so much better,sorry to whoever i have hurt, am hurting, and people i am possibly going to hurt in the future.
when there is just so many people doubting me,
when there is just so much weight left
on my shoulders from past mistakes and friends lost,
where the fuck am i to get the motivation to further myself
and stop doubting me like everyone else?
il tell you….
i just gotta push forward,
change with my surroundings,
prove people wrong,
show them what i can be,
but most of all push my self to my own limits,
show myself that i can be what i want,
have what i want,
achieve what i want…
then all these fucking haters and self doubt will shut the fuck up…
there will always be one person who trys to bring me down but fuck em,
they can choke on a fucking thousand dicks till they stop breathing for all i care.
i only have a few friends that i would class as family,
but they are literally all i need.
i dont care if blood is thicker than water,
they mean so much to me and they make my life alot more tolerable.
i would do almost anything for them,
they have helped put a smile on my face,
and helped me through alot of shit.
if only i was there for some of my friends as much as they are for me.
they are amazing people.
so to the people who mean the world to me,
thanks for being in my life,
i hope we share some more great times together,
and stay friends for a long time to come.
About me
20,brown hair,blue eyes,170cms tall,i live for my friends and best friends,(they know who they are if not just ask,music,photography,skateboarding. wanna know anything else just send to my askbox i guess.
